If Laughs Were Votes, Credico Would Win in a Landslide

Photo courtesy of Chris Rieth

Long-shot mayoral candidate Randy Credico delivered perhaps the best one-liner of the evening during last night’s mayoral forum which took place less than an hour after Democratic front-runner Anthony Weiner, during a hastily-called press conference, admitted to engaging in lewd on-line conversations with a young woman some fourteen months after he had resigned from Congress in disgrace.

“His scandals are nothing,” quipped Credico, adding that the former congressman’s on-again, off-again sexting scandal was nothing compared to his own colorful and sometimes rocky past, which included years of cocaine addiction.

Credico’s one-liner drew cheers and laughs from the crowd.

During his closing remarks, Weiner thanked his long-shot opponent for adding some levity to the debate.  “After the day I had today,” sighed the disgraced ex-lawmaker, “it was nice to laugh.”

Credico, who is running in the September 10th Democratic primary while simultaneously trying to qualify as the newly-organized “Tax Wall Street Party” nominee in the general election, stole the show during his closing remarks, drawing considerable applause and cheers from the audience.

“I appreciate everyone on this stage,” the unorthodox candidate said in deference to the six other candidates who participated in the forum at the Gay Men’s Health Crisis Center in Chelsea.

“I am running and I need your help,” continued Credico.  “I mean, I’m pushing this debate to the Left, okay.  I make everybody else look moderate, alright, so they can all go and say, ‘Well, I’m not as radical as that guy.’

“Okay, so I am radical,” he asserted proudly.

“I want to tax Wall Street.  It’s called tax Wall Street at half a percent or a percent and we can fund all of these problems.  We can revolutionize this city.  Right now, it’s like it was prior to the French Revolution when the nobles didn’t pay taxes…only the small bourgeoisie and poor people paid taxes and that’s what led to bankruptcy.  We need to change that.  We change that and we could become a major, major power and showcase for the world.”

Supported by the fast-growing United Front Against Austerity (UFAA), a nationally-organized group founded by historian Webster G. Tarpley, the longtime political satirist-turned-politician is campaigning for a one-half percent Wall Street Sales Tax that, if enacted, could swell the city’s coffers by an estimated $60 billion per year, enabling the city to significantly strengthen its social safety net while improving the lives of its impoverished and working-class citizens.

A modest Wall Street Sales Tax would also provide the means for New York City’s next mayor and city council to implement several other planks in Credico’s extraordinarily bold and forward-looking platform, including free college education for CUNY students, free public transportation, and a citywide Medicare-for-All program while simultaneously preventing the closing of New York City hospitals and neighborhood fire stations, as well as heading off any future cuts in other basic city services.